I have a friend. I’ve never met her in real life and she doesn’t know my name. But I care about her. I’ve been listening to her podcast for a couple of years now and she’s brought more laughter into my life than she will ever know. And she’s going through a really tough time right now. Without going into details let’s just say that her soon to be ex is an asshat. He’s cleared out their joint account, ran up the credit cards and didn’t use a condom.
But it got me thinking. I’ve been keeping up with her on Plurk and there are many many people who are asking her to put up a paypal account to help her get out of a bad situation. And she’s embarrassed and though I hope she will eventually put up the account, I understand how she feels.
Why is asking for help so god damn hard? Why is it such a horrible thing for a person to say “I can’t do this alone.” Why does it take a village to raise a child, but we feel like we’re all alone as adults? Where is the cutoff? Do you wake up on your 18th birthday and realize that help is now a bad thing, a thing of which to be embarrassed?
I’m not picking on her, on the contrary I’m thinking about myself. I had a hard week. Made harder by my pride (of which I often think I have too much). In the last few years I could probably count the times I’ve cried on one hand and I know there has really only been two reasons, death and the realization that I could not do something which brought on frustration.
So I think today I will be kinder with myself, and wait patiently for my friend to put up that paypal account so I can help her in one of the only ways I can.
